We all yearn to participate, to know that our presence matters, that our actions have impact.
When we feel insecure and unsafe, we keep our essence shrouded in an attempt to protect ourselves.
What to do?
Since we hold back our presence we lack confidence that it matters; our impact is diluted because we place a censor between our inner self and the outer world, inhibiting our behavior. Not only does this censor constrict our actions, it also prevents us from fully discovering who we are, and it prevents us from deeply experiencing those around us.
We then live in a world of uncertainty where we strive to control events, fearing we’ll be taken advantage of by others or expose ourselves to ridicule by revealing our inadequacies.
Training in Nonviolent Communication helps us become aware of our feelings and needs. When we connect with our needs a few things happen. Clarity and recognition resonates through our being, we become grounded in ourselves, and we become clear about our boundaries. Rooted in this recognition we grow a deep inner connection, stability, and calm.
Our drive to control events diminishes as we begin to trust ourselves to handle situations without rehearsal. We experience ourselves, rather than external reference points, as the true source of our own well-being and find the confidence and courage to be vulnerable. Not only do we have a deeper, wider experience of our being when we are vulnerable, we experience others more directly too. We may discover that we are of one essence, the perception of the “other” as different dissolves, and we enter a generous and empathic rapport. We might see that we are participants in a larger life force, and we can’t help but want to contribute. — David Steele (edited by Paul Shippee)
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