Compassionate Communication

Expanding Awareness

These 5 points for Compassionate Communication are based upon Nonviolent Communication (NVC), the work of Marshall Rosenberg. NVC forms the backbone of my work with facilitating groups and individuals in expanding awareness of mindful speech as a tool for cutting through habitual reaction patterns, emotional confusion and unconscious limiting beliefs.

Feelings and Needs

This core process is one of uncovering. This process leads people to a connection with authentic feelings and needs and brings clarity along the path of healing and wholeness. The resulting connection with spacious presence reduces suffering and brings freedom for natural compassion and empathy to blossom in relationships with oneself and others.

  1. INTENTION – is it to connect, or to be right?
  2. OBSERVATION – as opposed to judgment and criticism
  3. SELF-CONNECTION – awareness and honestly expressing one’s own feelings and needs
  4. EMPATHIC PRESENCE – awareness of others’ feelings and needs
  5. MINDFUL OF SPEECH – cut your speed, speak in “I” language, learn how to make a request instead of a demand

Mindfulness of Language

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a method for learning how to have compassionate communication with anyone, including yourself. It is based on awakening our natural intention to connect with humanity, with people, and to value everyone’s needs equally. Mindfulness of language is used as a main tool along with techniques that encourage a change of consciousness. All roads in NVC lead to empathy.

Emotional Intelligence

Author Jack Elias says, “Helping meditators develop emotional intelligence is an invaluable aid to maturing on the spiritual path. In my own work in Transpersonal Hypnotherapy I have integrated the NVC model and it is a great aid to clients and students. Compassion is the ground of healing and clarity.”  Finding True Magic

9 thoughts on “Compassionate Communication”

  1. This analysis of our curenrt situation causes me to look forward to reading more about anticipations for a better future via NVC. While there is a debate under way (see Immanent Frame on Geroulanos’ new book about anti-humanism ) over the human prospect for progress, I believe that we need a positive specific program for policy and action.My experience with non-violent action during the civil rights and anti-war activities showed that it can be effective, so long as communities of people are committed to acting cooperatively. In our competitive ethos, cooperation is hard to come by. Yet positive examples do attract and build such communities.At the theoretical level, Jurgen Habermas offers resistance to anti-humanism with his analysis of communicative action. I have read that he is rediscovering American transcendentalism, specifically John Dewey, whose pro-humanism philosophical foundation appeals to cooperative prospects.I am convinced that our most likely global future has been adequately described by Collapse and Planet of Slums. So change is most likely to be forced upon us under circumstances that ;promote coercion and dictatorship. It is always difficult to build a community but the need already exists and will become even greater in decades ahead.

  2. Looking forward to the next part. One thing I noctie is that as a less-empowered person in a classist social mess, being the change I want to see is often futile once I bump up against those who are more/totally-empowered; the structure of disempowering by the empowered necessarily means the only way such a structure can change is by those who are maintaining and running it have to change; people completely external to me and well beyond my social groups or circles. While inspiring, being the change for a lower class person really ends up meaning, just try not to be a jerk and duck when you hear the sirens/lower your gaze in the presence of the powerful/authorities (deference, though humiliating, will usually save one’s butt).I guess for people down here with me, it’s more a matter of waiting on others to fix the system they setup and rigged for themselves at my expense, then when those structural changes have been made by those others, I’ll have practiced enough on my own little limited level to step up and partner-up in such a new/changed structure.OTOH, the one or two times something like that has occurred, albeit on a much more limited level, the empowered quickly realize they don’t want lowers to be their partners in these new structures and quickly shut it down and go back to the old way. I’ve seen progressive organizations do this frequently (revert back to their cults of personality rather than actually sustain the more vulnerable/democratic changed structures). Again, for the lower class person, being the change is strictly personal. For any actual change to occur, it has to come from the empowered owning class who made things the way they are and established the corresponding rules. The intersection of personal growth and social change for us is outside our own spheres of influence. Hopefully it won’t always be that way, but that’s not up to the lowers, only the owners.

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